Saturday, August 01, 2009
mood: super damn freaking pissed.gosh, i can just about explode now. just came back from bpp and a new shop recently opened. so i saw this pretty shirt which i think is quite nice and would fit me. but i thought it would be ex, so i just ignored it and went to eat. then later, when sis and i were walking around, a looked at that shirt again and found out that it was only $10!!! omg, so later, i asked mummy whether i could but it,, since i havent bought a shirt since AGES. i expected her to ask how much it was and take a look at it, but i one glance at it and she immediately turned to jie and said ' dont you have this? you dont wear it anymore do you? so pass it to your sister.' i practically exploded inside me when i heard that. i told her that it was only $10 and that i havent bought a shirt in a super long time. but she didnt care. hello? i know im the youngest, but it doesnt mean that i have to get the pass-downs. omg, i just sat there crying in the car after that. i mean, i want a lot of things, but do i actually get any of them? NO. im not allowed to buy ANYTHING. but jie is. they dont even consider about buying things for me. they just look at jie and ask her to give me her unwanted things. ARGGGGHHHHHH! i think like 3/4 of my clothes are either pass downs or given, which im suppposed to wear. anything jie gets, and she doesnt want, then plop! it goes into my drawer. hardly any of my clothes is what i choose, what i want. gosh. i suffer from depression. sooner or later im going to jump out of the window. (i know some people are happy that i cant get clothes. they are such saddist. friends, you know who you are.)
next week im gonna try asking again. if mummy says no, then i'll seriously consider fasting.